Sprint Cup

Advantages The guys have a result
Disadvantages The guys get kicked in the teeth

...on the floor and mum lowered me down and placed me next to it. I started to eat as if I didn’t have a care in the world, and everyone relaxed. The yellow heads sat on the wall drinking their tea, totally ignoring me. In front of the house was a row of trees. The one I usually had my nap in was the smallest. The big oak was at least three times as big and that was my target. I was off, sprinting in its direction. Before they had replaced their cups on the saucers I was a hundred feet above them. I stared down triumphantly, a mocking smile on my face. The confused look on their faces gave me immense pleasure. I didn’t stare for long though, for I was soon fast asleep.... Read review

Advantages he doesn't play for England
Disadvantages too old, legs have gone

...Lothar Matthaus, what was all that about? The guy could hardly break into a jog never mind sprint after a footballer. He used to be a great player and scored some fantastic goals in the 1990 World Cup - or was that the 1890 World Cup! The German coach did England a great favour by picking this old turnip and he really evened up the contest given that England were the next worse team in the tournament. The game he played against Romania was hilarious and it was fun to see such a bad German team. I just hope that they pick him for the World Cup qualifiers.... Read review

Advantages We get to know more about a very interesting lady
Disadvantages I think we may have drunk too much

...of the athletics you see on TV. Long jump, high jump, shot put, discus, javelin, running, sprinting, cross-country running, you name it, and I tried it. The best over-all athlete each year won a cup and the title Victrix Ludorum. Some strange Latin name. My best was the discus and javelin, but I also did well in the 440 metres. More stamina than style. I had the cup for a few years, until I had a bad injury to my knee in a relay race. I got up and managed to win, but I should have stayed on the ground. That is very impressive, I am sorry that your injury shortened your sporting career. Much the same happened to me as a shattered thumb brought an abrupt end to me playing cricket. What else did you get up to; I have heard a rumour about a dragon tattoo? I had that done at the age of fifty! I had already had a navel piercing and a nose one... Read review